Go Big or Go Home

As I stand at the top of the snowy hill looking down and my future. I stand there contemplating what's going to happen to me. If I may hurt myself by doing this. Then I think. The hell with it I'm 16 and going to act like I'm 6! I grab the small air tube and sit on it. Laughing like crazy I sit there waiting for my path to clear. I stare at the jump we made and all I do is pray I will make it out alive. My path finally clears and I push myself off. I start to fly down the hill faster than anything. Half way down the hill I start to scream so loud you could hear me from a mile away. I finally hit the jump and fly up in the air. I close my eyes and start to spin. I reach out hoping to save myself but it's pointless. I just hurt myself even more. BAM! Pain is spreading around my body so fast all I can do is lay in the snow. I grab my shoulder now knowing I flew off the sled and did a neck/shoulder/face pant into the snow. People are now around me saying things I can't understand. I can make anything out of faces or what they are saying all I can do is feel pain. I finally get myself pulled together and turn over. I look up realizing who is around me and what they are saying. Pain is shooting in my left shoulder and neck. Yet all I can do is laugh, laugh, and say "Holy Mother of Mary did that hurt!" We all start to laugh. At that moment we all declared that the jump I had just taken was the jump of a life time.

Go Big or Go Home,

Maranda :)

Ignorance Towards Opinions

One thing that I absolutely and uncontrollably hate more than anything else! That would be people telling others their opinion is wrong! Honestly, what the heck! Really now? How can you tell someone their opinion is wrong! It's not yours to choose! It's not yours in the first place! Let people have their own opinion! Don't try to control them! That is one messed up thing. Why would you try to do that! Honestly, if you're saying theirs is wrong your pretty much saying every single opinion on that matter other than yours own is wrong! You know what that would be called? Selfish! That ticks me off more than anything.

I don't get why people ask for others opinion if all they are going to do is shoot it down and say it's dumb.

So here's an example for you. So at my school the Twilight Saga is HUGE! Everyone is reading it and everyone has their favorite character. There's this big fight over who like Jacob and who likes Edward. So if you talk to someone that likes the opposite they get into this dumb argument! It's honestly so dumb. All I want to do is hit the two who are doing this. Yes, I'm not a huge fan of one of them and I do joke sometimes about how I can't believe people like the other one. But I'm not going to say, "what the hell is your problem? Are you the dumb for liking them!" I'm not the stuck up.

It's so ridiculous! I just want to scream.

The other day I was standing with some friends and we got into this discussion. (To tell you the truth at first when barely anyone read the books I loved talking about them but now it's so out of hand I hate it everytime it comes up) Well there was one person who likes Jacob and they shoot down every opinion other than theirs! I WANTED TO SCREAM. I wanted to hit them, tell them to grow up and learn how to listen to others, after that walk away.

People need to learn to listen not just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk talk. That will get you NO WHERE in life. If you can't listen to someones opinion on a book, A BOOK... SOMETHING THAT IS NOT REAL, how are you going to be able to listen to others when you work FOR someone.

It's really not that hard to shut your mouth and listen. Then when you want to talk about it don't just shoot every single little thing down. You are pretty telling them they are dumb and need to agree with you and there's no other choice. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. I don't see how people can do that!

Well that is my rant. My message for you. Don't be stuck up. Don't be ignorant to others when it comes to opinions. If your the one who is shooting every opinion down other than yours, you're the one looking dumb. Listen and shut your mouth sometimes. You don't have to argue every time someone doesn't agree with you. LISTEN!!!! It's as simple as that!

Simple,

Maranda

At the End of the Day

At the end of a long, struggling and difficult day... At the end of an amazing, almost heaven and nothing went wrong day... At the end of a just plain out boring as hell day... The day your eyes were open... The day you closed your eyes because it just became a little to much to handle... The day your world was flipped and changed forever... The day you had thoughts about giving up... The day you found out you have so much... The day you thought you had nothing... The day you started planning your future... The day you looked at your past... The day you opened up and let someone see who you truly are... The day you let out of the emotions you have been holding in for hours, days, months, or maybe even years...

All of those days have you ever noticed how much you are really thinking about? How many names run through your head. The people you hate, love, don't really care about, barely know, and the people you have seen once; their names are in your mind. It's so random. It's strange. You feel things that hit you so hard they make you cry. Those feelings can make you smile so much it just can't go away and it makes your cheeks hurt like no other but yet that smile is still there which makes you smile even bigger!

Those are the days where you sit in your bed at the end of the day and you just think. You think about anything and everything. The bad to the good. It doesn't matter what it is but it's all going through your head with no control.

Then something happens though. It's strange and you can't quite but your finger on it. Your going crazy it's at the tip of your tongue. Then you just stop. It hits you so hard. So fast your gasping for air. Your head is spinning and all you want is for it to stop.

Those memories... Those thoughts... Everything that was just flying through you head just stops but one thing is still there. One thing. One little thing that you never really even thought about. You didn't even honestly think it truly mattered. At the moment though you realize you have been wrong. So incredibly wrong and you feel like such an idiot.

You realize what truly matters at the end of the day.

I truly wish I could finish this. Tell you what truly matters at the end of the day. Here's the thing though. I can't tell you what it is. Everyone has something different that matters to them. If you don't know yet you will one day. It will hit you like a ton of bricks. Yes, I know it sounds painful but it's incredible. You'll get what I mean when it happens. To be honest I'm so happy I can't finish this and tell you what it is because you're going to think about this now and something will click for you and a smile will pop on your face the second it does. When that smile does reaches your face that's when my job has been done. I hope that I have helped a little in your life.

I hope you realize what truly matters at the end of the day for you. It will almost make life a little bit more easy and joyful. (Less confusion is always a plus)

At the End of the Day,

Maranda :)

Catching Up with Time

As I sit next to my fireplace bundled up in my blanket. I'm running a fever around 100. Sweat rolling down my forehead as I cough my lungs up. I'm in pain from head to toe but yet all I can do is start to laugh. I start to laugh because it's that time again for me. Every year around this time I get sick, sick, and well sick even more. It's never to fun for me but at least I see it coming now.

Well as I sat there in front of the fireplace, then laying on my couch, and tossing and turning in my bed. Memories are shooting in my head. Around a year ago many new things were happening. Many new experiences. I was having Nerf wars with 2 of my best friends all the time. (I know it's very kiddish, but that's who we are) Parties were happening almost every weekend among best friends. Christmas ideas were being spread from person to person. To put it into a short little phrase it would be Christmas joy was being spread!

Whenever I'm sick I usually can't sleep at all. So instead I think. (It doesn't really help the whole head hurting but it gets my mind off the pain) That night I forgot to take off my necklace. I grab it; very scared I broke it yet again. To my surprise it wasn't broken! I grab it in between my fingers and just starred at it. It made me laugh and smile. But all of a sudden that smile and laughter turned into something else. I wipped my cheeks and notice I was crying now. It caught me off guard.

All I could think is why am I crying? I think I'm going crazy from all these pills I'm taking! Then I realized why I was. With the necklace in my hands still; I looked around my room at the pictures that are on my walls. The necklace I have in my hand now is almost a year old! I don't think I've ever been able to have something in my life for a year. As I thought about that I realized many things have stayed in my life.

I noticed how lucky I am that I get to stay away from the drama as much as possible, I get the silly friends that stick by my side, I get the family that's always going to be there, the silly boy that never has doubts, and the memories that I always get. The memories I get to laugh at while I'm sicker than a dog. I'm one lucky person even if I'm quite sick and barely can get a grasp on what's going on.

Sick but okay,

Maranda :)

Lost in the Madness

I'm sitting in a chair that I only take up about a half of and feeling like a little barbie doll. I look to my left and see people having a blast and playing pool. To my right are kids reminiscing about the old and new. Then straight in front of me I see this huge circle of people passing around this circle thing that has a beeping noise coming out of it and people jumping, screaming, laughing, crying and pointing. I look and just shake my head while smiling. I see all the people I have known for a while, just started talking to and people I just started talking to that night.


The night was full of happiness and laughter. Nothing took a wrong turn or twist. You could say it was almost perfect.

That night is a night I will never forget. It was a night that showed me what I'm missing. The friends I hardly talk to anymore and lost friendships I truly miss. It also showed me everything I do have. How good I have it. I must say I'm quite lucky.

As I sat in that chair I think I had someone new sitting next to me or on me every couple mins. It made laugh. I miss the crazy, goofy and silly times that I have had in the past. The second I noticed it I made a choice. I made a choice that I'm going to get back all those times. I'm going to start talking to people I see less and try to get back that friendship I miss dearly.

After I left I also got a whole new experience that I will never forget. It was straight out of a fairy tale. All because of this silly little boy :) That night this silly little boy drove me home. We were walking to his car and I told him to stop. We both looked up and in the sky was this amazing array of stars covering it like a blanket. It was so beautiful I could hardly take my eyes off of it. I finally looked down and there was that silly little boy looking at me. I closed my eyes and something surprised me. He kissed me. This silly little boy made that imprinted in my heart forever.

That night was full of everything a girl could dream of. I will never forget the choices I made, the thoughts that went through my head, and that silly little boy kissing me. I'm a very lucky person! I have it to good! That night is another chapter in my own little book of life.

Lucky,

Maranda :)))

Running Fingers on My Back

So today I was sitting in class about half dead and wanting nothing more than to go crawl on my couch with a huge blanket and someone rubbing my back. I never noticed how stressed, tired, rushed, and sick I have been. The saddest part of that is though is the reason. I haven't noticed these things because I don't have time anymore to notice them. If I'm not working I'm doing homework and if I'm not doing that I'm trying to see my family and friends I barely see anymore. And I know every person reading this knows how I feel completely!

Every chance I got today I went to my desk and just sat there with my head on my it. I finally got to 6th hour, Biology, and I just dropped to my desk. An amazing feeling took over my body and I wasn't sure what it was until I looked back. It was Logan and he was running his fingers on my back. I swear I could have passed out that very moment. With every little twist and turn he made on my back it was like tension, stress, frustration, and any feeling a sickness was leaving my body. That was the most amazing feeling I have had in such a long time. I didn't want it to stop but unfortunately it did when the annoying bell rang.

As I sat there praying for that feeling to stay just a little bit longer I got thinking about how some of the littlest things can get our minds of all the chaos around us. A little thing like someone rubbing your back come back you feel like you're on Cloud 9. It makes me laugh when that pops in my head. The little things are the things that distract us from the overload we call life. Different people have different things that do that for them like someone playing with there hair, humming to them (that with someone rubbing your back is AMAZING I must say), listening to music, a nice comfy couch or bed. Different people different things that distract them.

I swear we should just have a day off to TRY and relax if that's even possible. It seems to get harder everyday. The pile gets bigger and bigger the longer we go along until that one amazing day you finally finish everything. That joyous feeling takes over your body the second you finish that task. You know what that means... YOU GET TO RELAX! Thank you God! :) That joy and funny feeling takes over because all the stress that got built up is finally coming out. Just like when Logan was rubbing my back. It's a feeling everyone loves to feel.

Wanting more of that funny feeling,

Maranda :))

One Deep Breath

Life is unpredictable. You have leaps and bounds you have to go over. You have the happiest of times and the saddest of times. You have times were you're on a natural high and times when you're in pain. Every little thing you go through is something you would have never known that was going to happen. I think that's just an amazing thing.

People try to control everything in their life something. It doesn't matter what but they try to control it and if they don't they blame themselves. I must admit I use to try to control everything in my life and people changed me. They didn't let me control everything and surprised me with things here and there. It showed me how much I was truly missing. I learned that planning every little thing in your life is just a waste of time because you don't know what's going to happen. Things change everyday!

Life is so complicated if you really think about it. It's pretty much like you're in a bad relationship. It can barely ever stick to plans. Doesn't ever call. You can never tell what it's thinking, what's coming, or what it wants. The most stubbern person in the world I like to refer to it as. Even though all those things are true it's still worth working on that "relationship" because those leaps and bounds are all part of the journey. Life shouldn't be predictable. Hell that would be so boring. I don't think anyone could live like that. Everyone needs some surprise in their life.

I know everything life throws my way and your way is most of the time quite hard and difficult. You struggle with it and sometimes you're not sure if you will make it out but you will. You just have to find things to help. Think of all the good times that are coming your way the second that 1 bad thing is over. Deep breaths, Good thoughts, and one shoulder to support you just a little bit. Those are the 3 winning things that will get you out and you will always have.

Everyone has a past and everyone has a future. You know what's happened in the past but no one knows what will be coming in the future. That's a surprise and don't try to control. If things are meant to be they will happen. Deep breaths and Good thoughts. (They help with anything) I hope you let your future be a journey. I hope you get past all those twists and turns to get to all the good times. It's truly worth it.

Taking Deep Breaths,

Maranda :)

The Cross in the Road

Right now in my life I'm at a bend in the road. I'm stopped in front of the twos roads; I have to choose one and stick to it no matter the out come. Good? Bad? I'm not even sure. It seems as if everything around me is going at a 100 mph and I'm at a sad and slow 10 mph. I can't catch up with anything or anyone. I can't seem to get a grasp on anything that's going on because once I do it changes. I JUST WANT TO SCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAM!!!!!!! Why can't things just somewhat stay the same for even just a little while? Can anyone answer that for me? If you can I applaud you because I can't figure that out for the life of me.

I have two roads sitting in front of me. It would be so much easier if one was lit with sun light, trees all around it, and flowers of all colors surrounding it but it's not. They are both just sitting there. Nothing lit. Nothing is different looking. NOTHING! The part the is the worst though is that I won't know anything at all until I chose one. Nothing will show until I finally make a choice and stick to it.

I have two roads. One or the other. Please tell me why I can't have a happy medium? O wait because people love to be dicks and watch people get hurt. I hate those people! Ugh! The hardest part is knowing that no matter what I do people will get hurt. Not only my life will change from it but others lives will also. Every single person from my family to best friends to very dearly loved ones. The people I do not want to hurt at all. I just don't get how people think making choices are so easy. I struggle with it more than even. I hate seeing others hurt. I'm pretty sure it hurts me more than themselves.

So as I sit here pondering about these roads. The paths and choices that lay on them. Do I choose to stay with a loved one even though something in me doesn't think they want me around anymore? Do I do everything I can with in me to fix my family that's crumbling apart in my hands? Who do I turn to for help? Do I just rely on myself? All these questions... with no answers. All these things that can change so much. Do I follow my gut.... or head.... or heart? I just don't know anymore.

I weigh it all out but in the end it comes down to the same thing. CHANGE! I'm usually so open to it. I encourage it all the time but this time it's different. This time there's more to it but yet I can't find the words to describe it. I know whatever happens I won't regret it. That's the last thing anyone should do. I leave now with a question for you... Have you even been at a cross in the road?

At a bend,

Maranda

Misty Mind

Have had those days where your mind seems to be everywhere but the place it really should be at? You're thinking of things from the past thinking about the future and well everything. You're replaying senses of some of you favorite and most hated moments you have been through. Some times this feeling is triggered by something that has happened or it just happens without warning. I must say I some times love this feeling of having having a misty mind. I can remind myself of things I may have forgotten.

The best in my opinion of having this "Misty" mind is the memories come to life for me. While I start thinking about them in my head them for some amazing reason just come to life. It's like I'm the only one sitting in a 3D movie theater watching these memories. All those emotions I was feeling rush through me while I sit there watching. It's like I'm there all over again. I can feel it on my skin when someone touches me and those butterflies running through my stomach when a simple thoughts races across my mind. It's one of the most amazing feelings I think a person could have.

One would think those thoughts that pop into your head would be the big things that have happened but it's the complete opposite for. Every little detail and nitch I could name for you but I'm not the best with the bigger things. I guess that just shows me the littlest things mean the most to me. It doesn't take much to make feel like the happiest person in the world so when you do I will always remember it. Something I will always remember and I know this may sound corny but my boyfriend and I ,well I'm not sure what you would, but I call dancing sway a lot without any music. It's something so simple but just makes me feel like I'm on cloud 9. Those are the memories that capture me in those misty moments and never let me out until they are truly over.

I'm truly lucky I can have those moments. Yes, everyone thinks about the bad but you just have to learn from those moments. When you look back think about those just remember you're not going to let it happen again. Not that it was your fault or anything among those lines. Everyone needs to be reminded of there past even if it bad because it reminds you of the things you promised yourself. I'm saying this to every person who has gone through anything horrible in your life; you need to be reminded, YOU became such a better and stronger person for making it out of that thing. After or during or both when you're thinking about it you need to think that. You need to say to yourself I'm such a better person now for making it out because it's completely true.

So as I leave you with a misty mind now I hope you started having a misty mind of your own. It's something everyone should have often in my eyes. It helps you think about what you have, what you have gone through, the bad, the good, highs, lows, twists, and turns. Everyone needs to think and be reminded about how those feels and lessons. I love my misty mind feeling and I hope one day you do to.

Misty Minded,

Maranda :))))))

Silent Words

People speak everyday of their lives. You do from when you are a little baby til you're no long with us. It's an everyday thing for us. You hear people talking in classrooms, on phones, to you, in different languages, and everything in-between. Words are given different meanings and some words have the same meaning but some look more complex than others. But have you ever taken time to stop and think what these people are really trying to say? If they are only just speaking words with meanings behind them? If they are reading something they truly don't even care about? or Are they speaking from their soul and heart? Speaking with the words with meaning in and bound to them?

Have you ever realized when people are just reading some paper they wrote because they have to or when people are talking about things they don't give a damn about they sound lifeless and emotionless. WOW!! Does that bug me more then ever. I don't understand why people do it honestly. If you have to write something your very passionate about what about trying to connecting it to something you. Try to write with even a little bit of meaning. Really, do you think someone is going to sit and listen to you while you're reading... "blah.... this... blah.. that... blah... I freaking hated doing this... I can only stand here with a blank expression and my eyes glazed over..." HOLY! That puts me to sleep. Really you can TRY to make some effort in making it a little interesting.

I love it when people can make the littlest things the most interesting thing in the world. They just draw me in even more with every word filled with meaning a passion behind it. Those are the people that not only speak words but mean every word they say. Those are the people that think and use those simple words but put every ounce of anything behind it. They could be talking about the saddest thing in the word and only say the simplest words and make you ball just because of their emotion, action, and tone when telling the story. I hope one that I could be like those great story writers and to be able to put every once of myself and meaning behind the words I write one day. I want to bring people to tears from the saddest and funniest story.

As I say goodbye I add another challenge for myself and anyone else that what's to stride to achieve and learn more. Next time when you write and read something. MEAN IT!!!!!!!! Put ALL of you into it; not only some ALL!!

Hoping to Achieve,

Maranda

Waking Up with No Voice

Well last night was Halloween as everyone knows. The night was full of fun and laughs! Plans were made and never done but hey that's the great part of being a teen! Well last night I hung out with friends and we had the whole night planned to the T. Of course those plans weren't kept. We ended up just winging it for the most part and talking for most of the night. My friends and I always have those really conversations around 1 month or so. It seems hard to get everyone together to have those good conversations. Well last night we finally got one in and it was amazing.

We talked about everything from people flexing chest muscles, school funding, to everything in the middle. We are very open people when we are all together. Finding a subject to talk on isn't hard at all. Usually during this conversations people open up more than they ever would in public. They use THEIR voice in every conversation. The nice thing is when we get into this conversation mode we don't judge each other. We just let each other talk and get their point across. That's something you can't do with everyone you know. People judge when they take one look at you. Just imagine what they would say if they didn't agree with you on 1 subject. To say the least you're pretty much screwed.

Well last night while everyone was talking and using their voice to get their opinion out I wasn't. I was barely talking at all. I wasn't using MY voice. That's what it has come down to today. I'm so nervous to voice my opinion and tick someone off where they slap me and tell me I'm an idiot for thinking that. I want to use my voice in every way I can but I'm so scared to get those opinions out of my head and spread them to others. I know that my friends won't judge but I can't say that about others. That sucks!

I want to be able to be one of those people who can stand up for every single thing they believe in without any hesitation in their voice. I look up to those people. They don't change their views unless it's for a great reason. I'm not one to back down on my opinions or change them because what I believe in is huge to me. That's me. I wish I could stand up for them though. In those great conversations I have with my friends I seem to always be listening and never really talking much.

So today as I close this blog I'm setting a goal for myself and I challenge any and every person that is like me. I dare you to set the goal that you will use YOUR voice. Stand up for what you believe in. Voice your opinion. Don't let people control you. Be you and use every opinion you have in there. You never know what could happen. Wish me luck... I wish you every once of luck there is out there. I know this won't be easy.

Using Her Voice,

Maranda :))))))))

The Beauty of Laughter

Have you ever noticed how much a person glows when they start to laugh? How the happiness just flys off them from every spot on their body? You can truly tell how a person is feeling when they are laughing! Also I think you can tell a lot about a person by the way they laugh.
You have those people who have a quite laugh and don't really laugh loud unless they are around certain people. You can probably guess they are a little shy and maybe a little outgoing with only those certain people they laugh around. Usually those are the people who have gone through a lot or have a great story to tell. Usually those quite laughers almost have a little mystery to them that makes you want to know them when you finally do get to hear that amazing loud laugh.
You have those SUPER loud laughers. I mean I'm talking about the laughs you can hear when you are walking through the halls over all the commotion of the people talking and walking. Usually those are the people who are very outgoing and use their voice. They say what they feel and don't hold it back. Those are the people usually when you hear them start to laugh and you just join along with them even when you have no idea what they are laughing about.
You have the laughers who have the most abnormal laughs you have ever heard. You have everything that sounds like a donkey, monkey, horse, dolphin, and everything else inbetween. I must say those are my favorite laughs to hear and laugh along with. Those are the people who most likely laugh so hard they pee their pants, lose their voice, and start crying like there is no tomorrow! I must say it's amazing when you hear someone laughing like a donkey while laying on the floor crying and holding on to their pants because they are about to pee but they can't move from laughing so hard from just 1 word someone said.
Those are usually the times when people just laugh along with you. I think everyone should do the following things sometime in their life:

1. Laugh til they pee their pants
2. Make someone else laugh til they pee their pants
3. You and a friend both laugh til you both pee your pants
4. Laugh so hard you start crying like a baby
5. Laugh so hard your stomach hurts
6. Fall to the ground because you just can't stand anymore because you are laughing
7. Laugh everyday! It just brightens your day!
8. Have one story to tell to people that may make them pee their pants from laughing

Those are things EVERY SINGLE person should do! Those are the memories you will never forget when you get old. Those are the things you will think about when you're old and have gray hair.

MY PEEING STORY!

So here is my laughing story that I'm sure you will laugh at. Well before I tell you this you must know this about me; 1. I get scared so easily it's sad. I'm like a 5 year old. 2. When I get scared I laugh and laugh and laugh. It's hard to get me to stop. Well anywho here's my Peeing Story!

When I was in 6th grade I went to the Haunted House that my town has every year in this huge barn at our fairgrounds! Well since I get scared so easily I was freaking out even before I got in the building! I was with my dad and my friend Emily, she was just as scared as I was, and we were pretty must shaking in our boots. We reached the door to enter the Haunted House and I was about to throw everything up I was so scared. We entered and I swear if my dad wouldn't have had a coat on he would have had claw marks in his back because I was holding on to him so hard. Well we started to walk and people were jumping out of every crack and turn in that place. As you can imagine I WAS FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!! I was screaming my head off! What fallowed the scream though was me laughing my butt off! This happened every 30 seconds or so. We were almost done with going threw it and now I had to pee! I wanted to just run like Forest Gump through the rest of the house but that didn't happen. I was to scared to go ahead of my dad and he was just getting a kick out of me he slowed down. Knowing the Haunted House my dad slowed down at the end because it's usually the worst part. I got to the very last room and wanted to pee myself about 50 times in a row. Luckily I didn't but I wish I would of because I was laughing so hard now I couldn't even breath! Once we were done with that I shot out of there like a bullet. Unfortunately when I was looking for the bathroom (imagine me in jumping around hold my pants, laughing, tears rolling down my face, and searching for the bathroom... I know a great picture!) I was still laughing and just couldn't stop. I turned and saw the bathroom but it was to late... I had peed my pants!

Now that I look back at my peeing experience I wouldn't change it for the world. It's something I will never forget and always look back on! I hope you have a peeing experience you can one day tell to other people.

Laughing til she pees,

Maranda :))))))))

It Takes Two

Have you ever been in something or had to do something where it takes both people to make it work? Where you both have to make that same effort for it to work out? But usually it doesn't end up that way does it? It usually ends up where 1 person is making most of the effort while the other person makes some to little. Wow. Does that bug me more than ever! Ahhh! I absolutely hate it! Everything works out so much better if they just both make effort!
I hate it when I see that 1 person making so much of the effort to make it work and all they do is struggle. Now that saddens me. Then while the other person knows that they are struggling or they just don't pay enough attention to even notice how hard they are working! Ahh! I just feel like going up to those people and shaking them and telling them to get a grip and look at what's going on around them!
Everyone knows those relationships... Where it's one person wanting it to work out so bad but then there's that one other person where they don't take the time or effort to look and around see what they are doing! I wish those people could see what they are doing to the person making all the effort! I mean come on really? It's not that hard to make a little effort here. It's not going to kill ya now. Like I said before... 2 is so much better than 1. You can't make and build a relationship out of 1 person making all the effort! (That's just a little advise for anyone that didn't know that)
I wish those people who barely take the time to look around or make an effort could see how much blowing people off actually hurts. If they knew how it felt they would feel like shit and maybe that's what they have to feel to change. I hate when I see my friends hurt when they are blown off because I know how it feels like and it freaking sucks! It's like you are trying your best and you but all of your effort and everything else into one thing and you are so excited to show or tell or anything to that one special person because you want them to be just as happy and excited as you are but, then when it comes to that moment for you to let that other person see what it is and you're waiting for them to say something or show a little emotion and this is what you get... "O. Well that's cool I guess.. " Okay so you might has well take that persons heart out and throw it on the ground then start jumping on it while laughing like the jerk you are! (Just take a second to think about how that must feel!!!)
So as I leave you please don't be one of those effortless people! Really it's not that hard to pick up the phone or stop by or help or make some effort or anything! It's truly not! That goes for anything and everything you do in life! Next time you feel like being one of those effortless people please think about what you're really doing to that other person who's involved. Just take some time to look around and make some effort. It can make a huge change.

Making that effort,

Maranda :)))))))

The Power of Wisdom

Today I was sitting in my house and curled up in a blanket. I was just sitting there and thinking about tons of stuff. Usually when I'm sick my head races like no other. But that's not what I'm going to talk about. What I'm going to talk about is what I read today. My mom puts poems around the house and I've never really took the time to read any of them until now. While I was sitting there I had read one of these poems. I have to say that I'm so dang happy I did. This poem is something every single person should read and REALLY think about. It says so much in words everyone could relate to and understand. Here's your chance to read it. Please read and think and learn from every word that's written.

I've learned no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today,

life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle these three things:

a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents,

you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands;

you need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.

People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget

what you did but people will NEVER forget how you make them feel.

-Maya Angelou

This sent a whirl of emotions around and through out my body. Every word written in this poem what so completely true is what shocking. If every person read this and learned from it I couldn't even believe how much of a difference it would make. Everyday you hear and meet those people who they think they know every freaking thing there is to know about everyone and everything. You know what I want to do to those people... Slap them and throw this poem in their face! You don't know everything so just stop. Really you're just wasting your breath!

I leave with a short entry because I want you to really think about what was written. Please read and learn. Also if you are one of those people who think they just know everything just stop now and I hope you learn from this. I hope you liked the poem as much as I did.

Having one hand to throw something back,

Maranda :)))))))))))

Looking Back at What's Gone By

Well today was quite boring to say the least but all day I haven't been able to stop thinking about all this stuff! Just random things I haven't even thought about for years! Well to say the least I haven't been able to keep my mind on one thing for a long time. So today I was sitting down and I had been doing some things here and there around the house. It seemed like everything that I say and touched just brought back a different memory. Some where things I hadn't thought about for such a long time because all I wanted to do was block them out but lately I just haven't been able to do that at all.
Today my mom and I got to talking. We hadn't had one of those really good talks for awhile so it was about time we did. We started talking about our trip we our taking this winter to Mexico, South America, and the Bahamas. Well that got us talking about our past trips to Cali. This one trip I was so happy we had taken. It was around 6 years ago now. We went and visited my moms side of the family. I had never meet them in my life other than when I was born. I had such a good time and I got so close with my great grandma and everyone else there. Well that fallowing year my great grandma passed away. I only got to meet one of the most caring, loving, and important people in my life once. That breaks my heart to say and know that. It's also sad to say ever since the day I left my great grandmas house I haven't talked to a single member of my moms side since. They really just don't care very much.
That got me to thinking about how much family I don't have. How much of those experiences I don't get to have. You know those huge family holidays where everyone gets together and sits and laughs about the past year and how much they miss each other... Well I have never had one of those holidays in my life. My moms side doesn't care about us. My dads side is very small and is all around the country. My step dads side hates us more than anything. My family family is just me, mom, dad, brother, and step dad. That's the most family I have ever had really.
The odd part is though my brother is gone and barely ever calls to even say hello. My dad and I are quite close which I love. My mom and I are each others best friend. My step dad and I are okay.
I know your probably thinking how sad but please don't. I'm so happy for the family I do have though. I have so many other families that act like I'm their own kid. So instead of have just 1 grandma and 1 grandpa I have tons. I have more than 1 everything. Knowing that is worth everything and makes up for everything my own family doesn't give me. So as I leave you I tell you and ask you this. Be happy with your family. Never wish them away even if they do get on your nerves. You'll miss them the second they are gone. I know I do.

Part of a Big family,

Maranda :))))))

What Happiness has Come to Today

Happiness has been pretty much ruined today! It's become into such a fake thing! You're probably thinking what the heck are you talking about! Happiness can't be fake! What I have to say to that is BULL! Happiness is faked everyday wither you know it or not people will fake be happy to see you, to get a gift, or anything you can think of! People take that happiness feeling fragranted so much and that bugs me. I just want to go up those people who have everything but yet they think their life is so bad and they can't go on because they don't have some $4,000 piece of !@#$ they will never even look at the second after they get it. That isn't true happiness, that's greed!

I don't understand how people can yell at their parents when they don't get some little thing when they have tons already. I don't understand how people can be so sad when they don't have anything wrong in their family or life. Their parents give them tons of attention. I mean you're pretty much the freaking Brady Bunch. I don't understand why people fake being sad then the second they get attention they are all happy. I don't get how the people who have everything are the saddest and their happiness can only be bought. I feel bad for those people.

The people who I'm most jealous of though are the people who have nothing but they are always so happy! They always have such a glowing smile on their face you can't help but smile with them. I admire them so much. I admire when people give everything they have from the clothes on their back to a room in their house to a complete stranger because they ask for it. I look up to those people. I look up to people who give their whole lives to making others life easier when they have their own problems. Those people know what true happiness is!

That smile you see on the peoples face who give everything to others, that right there is true and real happiness. Then you have that smile people get on their face when their bought something or when they get what they want. That's so fake it's sick. I don't get how people are like that.

What bugs me the most though is how it's been so accepted in todays culture. That fake smile is an everyday thing. Knowing that makes me so pissed I just want to scream. I can't believe someone doesn't go up to those people then scream in their face and just plain out smack them! They get everything they want by begging. It's so sad that is an everyday thing now.

Then you have those people who give there lives to make others happy and the people who don't have anything and are so thankful for what they have when they really don't have anything. Those people don't get anything from anyone really! People barely even say a simple "Thank You" to those people. I think they should be given a medal. We need more people like that in this world.

Our world has become crummy because of those greedy and non thankful people. They have out numbered the greatful people by a ratio of 4:20. Which is WAY to much. So I leave you now all I ask of you is to do a good deed everyday. That 1 good deed could change someones life and by doing that our world could change so much just by that 1 little thing. Think about that... 1 simple and effortless thing could make this world such a better place.

Doing 1 good deed at a time,

Maranda :))))))

Examples of things people could do:

-Give a person who is feeling down a hug! or just someone you see! You can make that person feel so loved by that simple action! (I dare you next time you see me come and give me a hug and i'll squeeze you back and I promise you we will BOTH have a huge smile and laugh)

-Pick up some garbage you see on the ground

-Be kind!

-Hold a door for someone who needs it or not!

-Smile! Yours and everyone else that sees you will have a better day.

-Give money to the poor. (A few cents can change their life)

-Do some charity work (yes this does involve effort but think about that amazing feeling you will have when that effort has made someones life so much better! AMAZING!!!)

-Make cookies and pass them out!

-Help someone in need.

-Those are only a FEW things people can do and change the way people act today. The world would be such a better place if we just did such simple and effortless nice things everyday.

The Two Lasting Candles

Okay so before you read this and get any ideas I want to set this straight. This isn't some dumb made up gushy fake romance blog! It's completely really and every single thing that you will read is things that have happened! So here it goes... So over a year ago I met Logan at our friend, Tim, bonfire. Well lets just say that time in my life wasn't so hot! Very confusing and I didn't have anyone to turn to very much. That night I didn't know it but I met the person that would forever change my life! That was Logan. From that night on we talked pretty much nonstop! Neither of us probably really knew it but he became pretty much my best friend! He was so understanding and willing to listen to me and he did so without judging me a single bit! All he did was be there for me and help me through whatever it was. Well on October 4th,2007 we had come up with this master plan! We were going to fool everyone in out school into believe that we were a couple when really we were just pulling a HUGE joke on everyone! Well we figured that we would tell everyone the coming Monday at school that it was a straight our joke. Well to our surprise things changed over that weekend. We had hung out to make our "master" joke more believable when really we just started to fall for each other.

Well over that weekend we both couldn't fight it anymore. We both gave in! This master joke had turned into something really. At that moment in time I don't think we really thought it would turn into what it is now. We have probably gone through everything there is really. We have faced and conquered everything from me almost having to move across the country to nasty rumors being spread about us. Yet you would think that would just tare us apart the second we hear and/or found those things out but they didn't. Not even a tiny bit. What it did was make us stronger than ever.

I can't tell you how shocked and happy I am to be able to say this but on October 4th, 2008 was mine and Logan's year. It had been a year since our "master plan" had come in affect. That night I had something special planned for us. He didn't know what it was at all. Well that night I had got a huge pile of leaves for us to lay in and watch the stars and around those leaves were lights twirled around it! On the bricks next to that were candles I had set up! Well to my luck it was windy and they wouldn't stay lit at all. I finally gave up and decided that whatever stays lit stays lit and I wouldn't light anymore. Well Logan had arrived to my house and I led him to our spot! He was very shocked and happy! The night was perfect for laying there and watching the stars! Randomly we both looked at the candles and there was only 2 still lit. Out of the 12 I had lit there were 2 right next to each other lit. Even through the gusts of wind they wouldn't go out no matter how hard it blew. We both laughed at the same time. Logan and I were thinking the same thing. Yes, this may be corny but to us those candles has represented us and our relationship. No matter what came our way we were still there for one another. We would not be blown out for anything. We were "The Two Lasting Candles" and nothing will change that.

That's my true story (well at least the begging of it. It'll be a very long time til the last page has been written.)

The Lasting Candle,

Maranda :))))

Letting Go of the Past...

Letting go of something that has happened is so hard but it needs to be done. It's something every person needs to learn. Yes, I bet half of you that are reading this at the moment are saying, "I don't hold grudges... I let go of the past... Blahh... Blahh.. Blah..." You know what I say... LLLLLLLIIIIARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! Everyone holds on to something that has happened to them. It could be big or small. Sometime in your life you HAVE held someone to something that they have done to you. It's easier to get over that when you admit it. Trust me. I thought I didn't really hold things to people but this 1 time I did. I hated this person with everything I could. Thinking of what they did to me just made me sick to my stomach. It made me so sick I would be throwing up. Guess what? That's NOT healthly. You shouldn't hold things to people. Yes afterwards you may not be friends with them but don't hate them. Hating them is A WASTE OF TIME! You think about it day and night and you can't get your mind off of it and that's all you can think about. Well guess what you're doing.. wasting your time. You shouldn't go through life doing that to yourself. You know what go ahead not talk to them whatever but DONT waste your time hating someone. I think when people say "forget the past" they get the wrong message from it. I think people should just move on and learn something from the past. Not forget it because all you're doing then is letting people open for another shot. Someone can just do something so much worse if you just "forget" about it. So don't let people do that. Learn from that pain. Learn from those emotions you felt. All it's doing is making you stronger. So learn don't forget. As I leaving you pondering once again all I ask of you is to learn from those dumb things people do to you... learn from those feelings you felt... don't beat yourself up about it... move on from it... and please PLEASE PLEASE don't waste your time hating people.

Learning from her past,

Maranda :)))

A Twist in the Story

To me when I think about life and all that jazz I think about a story. How everyone has a different story and a page is written everyday. No matter how boring, lame, exciting, and strange the day is you'll always have something to be written in the story. I think it's interesting reading other people stories. Some people have such amazing and interesting stories. They have gone through so many different things in their life and can share that and help so many people because of that. Others might have not gone through as much as the person standing next to them but it doesn't matter. Your still going to have experinces that others might not have! I think people should share their story. You could end up making life long friends with someone. Or you could just touch someone with your story. Everyday something new happens to someone. Everyday someone loses a bestfriend, parent, a family member, and a loved one. Everyday someone finds someone that they can truly love with every single piece of themselves. Everyday something life changing happens. Both bad and good happen to people and we never know what's coming but we know what's happened in the past. It's written in our books everyday. Even though we don't know what's coming we know that people have gone through and gotten past whatever is coming. It's nice to know peoples stories because of that. They can help you with everything from the amazing to the horrifing. A twist and curve ball are thrown into your story book everyday. It doesn't even matter if it's the TINNNNNNNEST thing in the world it's still there and you never know if it'll help someone someday. So as I leave once again I want you to do one thing... Look back in your story book and look at someone elses. It can change your life.

My story is being written,

Maranda :)))))))

The Person I am Today

WOAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! That's all I can say right now. I have had a non stop smile since.. well... I couldn't even tell it's been on there for so many days and months. Yes, it's gone missing once in a while but only for a very short time. My life has been flipped upside down so many times in the last year but you know what I'm so freaking happy it has been! My life has changed for the good in so many ways! I have learned, lost, loved, and gained so many things from so many people and experiences. I thank so many people for that.

-Logan-

This boy has made my life! He is only of the only people who has ever loved me for me. He has never told me to change one single inch. He has taught me so many things about myself that I never would have known. He has shown me that I need to love myself the way I am and nothing else. He has been my rock. The one person that wouldn't leave me when I've needed him the most. Something that I never really had before. He won't change for anything or anyone and I admire him SOOOOOOOOO much for that. For those reasons and so many more I thank him so much and I love him with all my heart!

-Kadie-

My best friend since we were 3 years old. We have never had a single fight in our whole friendship. We don't judge each other for any reason at all. We tell each other the truth even if it hurts. She is the sister I always wanted but never had. She is the shoulder I go to when I need it and the person I can always be myself around. We promised we'd always be there for each other no matter what happens! Those are only some reasons why I'm so lucky to call her my bestie!! I love her for that!

-My Family-

My family is such a huge factor in my life. What my parents think of me means SO MUCH to mean. I do everything I can to make them happy and proud of me. My parents have helped me through so much that it's crazy. They have always told me to go for my dreams! They want to see me make something out of myself and that's what I plan on doing! I love my family more than anything. I wouldn't want to have it any other way.

:)

Like I said so many people have helped me! This smile that I still have on my face isn't going anywhere! Even if you try so don't even bother. I've learned not to care what others think. Really people why try to bring others down when you could be happy with the people around you. Smiling makes so much better and easier. So as I leave you I ask you one favor.... Just take one minute out of your day and just smile. Just think about happy things that have happened and smile. I promise you won't regret it!

Smiling,

Mrs. Maranda

Letting Go of a Dream

Lately all I've been able to think about even dream about is how I had such an amazing opportunity and I turned it down. How I turned down one of my only dreams I have ever had in my life to stay where I was. I didn't have much at all either. Nothing special that I couldn't of gotten where I was going to go. I had a chance to go dance for a High School dance team that is amazing! This team did things I wished I could do everyday of my life and I made that team. That team of girls I looked up to and I made. That's a feeling I will never have ever again in my life. I couldn't even explain in words how amazing knowing that I did it! The one thing was that if I went and danced for them I would be leaving. I didn't have much at home but what I did have I wasn't sure I was willing to give it up even if I could get it anywhere else. That was one of the hardest choices I have ever made. One day I was really thinking about the pros and cons. (Yes, sadly I made a pro and con list! I know dorky but it helped TONS!) All of a sudden it hit me. I wasn't willing to give up what I had at home. That minute I let go of my dream of dancing for that team. That will never be full filled but I have come to terms with that. Not all was lost from that though. I got that amazing feeling out of it. I got the gratitude of knowing I could have had it if I wanted it. I know that I was good enough for that team. That I was just as good as those girls and that's something no one can ever take away from me no matter how hard they try they will never be able to do it! Today as I look back on my choice to not dance I don't regret one once of it. I have gotten so much more than I would have gotten if I would have gone away. I got things that pass any dance team! I got everything that I'll ever need in life. (If you don't get what I mean by that you will one day and you'll love it) By not leaving and full filling 1 of my dreams I made many more. I have learned when you give up one thing you get many things in return and that's what happened to me. So as I leave you now I have one question for you... Have you ever had to give up a dream?

Yours truly,

Mrs. Maranda

Changes out of the blue.

You know those times when you think everything is going so perfect. You think nothing could ever go wrong and if they do it won't be that bad. You think that you have everything and if you do lose something it will only be something some, nothing huge. Nothing that could change your life. But then out of no where you do lose that one thing that would change your life. A huge part of your life. It could be something really little or it could be something huge. From a person dear to your heart or your favorite bear you've had since you were a baby. Whatever that thing is though you just lost it and you lost it out of the blue. There were no signs flashing "YOU ARE ABOUT TO LOSE SOMETHING!!! WATCH OUT!! BE PERPARED!! " or any sort of warning you wish you had. It's just gone. I know at the moment you think life sucks and this and that but, honestly I think losing that one thing will make you so much stronger than you once were. You depended on that one thing so much you can't function without it. Now without it you have to move on. You have learn how to make it on your own. I honestly think every person has to go through that once just so you know that it's not the end of the world. That you will make it threw everything. I know it's not the funnest thing to go through ,but it's just gotta happen. So as you sit there and think about what I have written I ask one thing of you. Never take something for granted, never hold a grudge, never regret, take chances, and just because 1 bad thing happens doesn't mean your whole life is over. Be happy for what you have and had.
Yours truly,
Mrs.Maranda!

A Day Of Laughs and Screams!

Today was such an amazing day! HOLY! It's was our Homecoming game today! It was a day full of excitment, joy, stress, dressing up, and having tons of fun with your friends! This is the one day time that everyone can come together and cheer their butts off and lose their voices and it's compeletly okay with everyone! Today was probably the best day ever! I spent time with my friends, made memories that will never be lost, and like everyone else screamed till we couldn't scream anymore! Homecoming is something I always look forward to. Well because 1) it's like the biggest thing in our school and 2) well just because I like it! ha! This year was different for me though. I have different friends, different grade, and a different out look. The best part about that is though is I absoultely love it. It's the best Homecoming that I've ever been to and I will never forget it! These are the times High School is about. It's not about the drama, the who said what, the classes, or any of that. It's the moments that you make and never forget. To pretty much sum it up is kinda simple and that would be LIVE FOR THE MOMENT and NOTHING ELSE!!! Don't think about the future just go with the now. I've learn a new moto you could say... "Improvise, Improvise, IMPROVISE!!!!!!!!" and that person is completely right! Tonight is a night that will never be forgotten and will be talked about in many times to come! Homecoming '08!!!!!!!!!! That pretty much sums it up! So again I leave you with a question to think about and that would be, have you ever had a day were you are care free and you're so happy you just have to scream your lungs out?
Yours Truly,
Mrs.Maranda!

Laughing at Amazing Memories

For the last couple of days all I have been able to think about are the things that have happened in the past year. Everything from such little things to huge things! When I start to think about them all I can do is laugh. I can't even help it! I've been thinking about trips, bonfires, school, and everything inbetween. I've never really realized how much actually has happened in the past year until this weekish you could say. When ever I'm with just one friend or many friends we seem to be looking back a lot lately because so many things have changed and none of us really have noticed til now because it's already happened! I love those moments though. The moments that we spend looking back and laughing til we have tears rolling down our faces and we're laughing so hard all we can do is breath in many deep breaths and try and spit something out. But all that ends up happening is we just start laughing more. Those are the moments we'll never forget about. I don't care if you're so old person in a wheel car in the middle of a nursing home and slowing losing your memory you'll NEVER lose those memories. Those memories of laughing with your friends til every single one of you pee your pants and don't even care. Those are the memories that you'll have with you. I know one day I'll be a mom with a family and probably won't even see half the people I'm amazing friends with now but I'll end up running into something or seeing something and I'll just start laughing like no other and my kids will probably think that their mom is a freak but I know one day they will do the same thing. I'm so glad that I've been able to laugh at the amazing memories of the past year. But while I do that all I can think is "I wonder what's going to happen this year?" But with my friends that's so unpredictable. You'd think that would be somewhat bad but to me it isn't at all. That's my favorite part of the whole thing. Every minute is a mystery! So as I sit here now with tears rolling down my face because once again I'm laughing so hard, I leave you with a question... Have you ever sat with your friends and cried because you've laughed at each other so hard?
Yours Truly,
Mrs.Maranda

Over Coming that Barrier

Do you know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you know something you're not so sure you're going to do so swell at is coming up? Well today I had that feeling. I had a HUGE barrier that I had to over come today! I was so worried about it that my stomach was doing flips so high that I could barely feeling it when I ate! But that feeling isn't always so bad because when you've over come that barrier that feeling in your stomach is amazing! It's a feeling you can't even describe. You have to feel it for yourself to know that feeling and joy you get out of it! If you haven't had that feeling before I have one thing to say to you... "ARE YOU CRAZY!!!!!!!!!"... just kidding ,but You need to over come something huge and you will know how it feels! It's almost like a good addiction. Once you know the feeling you love it and you start over coming so many thing that you would have never thought you once could do! It's such a wonderful feeling to have! I just can't get over it! One thing that's even better though is sharing it with someone! When you over come that barrier with someone close. That's a whole other experience all on it's own! Life has so many different experiences for people to go through and that feeling when you've gone through them and jumped over the barriers that try to stop you... I can't even describe it. It's like whole other part of you has come alive. :) So before I leave you once again I challenge you... I challenge you to over come something in your life. "Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are." Bernice Johnson Reagon. So I ask, What are you going to over come?
Yours Truly,
Mrs. Maranda

Sit and Think

Have you ever just sat down and thought about everything that's going on around you. How you're never going to be able to have these days again. How one day you'll be sitting down again and be thinking the same thing you're thinking now. When I sit and think about everything that's going around me I don't look at how horrible things I THINK things are. I sit and think about how lucky I am! How lucky I'm able to actually sit here and think about all the times I've been able to have! I don't sit and think about "O, I should have..." or "O, I could have..." In life you have 1, count it 1 chance to do something! Don't regret things you have done. Make those things into lessons and into positive things! I can tell you from experience that I've gone threw my fair share of ordeals that I know what I'm talking about. I have been threw everything from parents splitting up, brother leaving without caring, fights everyday, to losing people I love. Yet I don't sit and look at the bad. I think about how lucky I am at the moment! I use to look ahead on EVERYTHING no matter how little it was and someone very close told me to stop and live for the now! I'm so lucky that I listened to him because I wouldn't be as happy as I am today if I was still looking ahead at everything. I learned to live, love, and learn life. Yes, I know it's a corny quote but it's true, so you can use it! Life's full of wonders no matter how smart you are and even if you think you can tell what's coming. Something will always catch you off guard! So as I sit here and think I think about how luck y I am to have who I have and to be here now and to be able to sit here and tell you this. So as I close this blog I have one question for you, What are you sitting and thinking about right now?
Yours Truly,
Mrs. Maranda