Looking Back at What's Gone By

Well today was quite boring to say the least but all day I haven't been able to stop thinking about all this stuff! Just random things I haven't even thought about for years! Well to say the least I haven't been able to keep my mind on one thing for a long time. So today I was sitting down and I had been doing some things here and there around the house. It seemed like everything that I say and touched just brought back a different memory. Some where things I hadn't thought about for such a long time because all I wanted to do was block them out but lately I just haven't been able to do that at all.
Today my mom and I got to talking. We hadn't had one of those really good talks for awhile so it was about time we did. We started talking about our trip we our taking this winter to Mexico, South America, and the Bahamas. Well that got us talking about our past trips to Cali. This one trip I was so happy we had taken. It was around 6 years ago now. We went and visited my moms side of the family. I had never meet them in my life other than when I was born. I had such a good time and I got so close with my great grandma and everyone else there. Well that fallowing year my great grandma passed away. I only got to meet one of the most caring, loving, and important people in my life once. That breaks my heart to say and know that. It's also sad to say ever since the day I left my great grandmas house I haven't talked to a single member of my moms side since. They really just don't care very much.
That got me to thinking about how much family I don't have. How much of those experiences I don't get to have. You know those huge family holidays where everyone gets together and sits and laughs about the past year and how much they miss each other... Well I have never had one of those holidays in my life. My moms side doesn't care about us. My dads side is very small and is all around the country. My step dads side hates us more than anything. My family family is just me, mom, dad, brother, and step dad. That's the most family I have ever had really.
The odd part is though my brother is gone and barely ever calls to even say hello. My dad and I are quite close which I love. My mom and I are each others best friend. My step dad and I are okay.
I know your probably thinking how sad but please don't. I'm so happy for the family I do have though. I have so many other families that act like I'm their own kid. So instead of have just 1 grandma and 1 grandpa I have tons. I have more than 1 everything. Knowing that is worth everything and makes up for everything my own family doesn't give me. So as I leave you I tell you and ask you this. Be happy with your family. Never wish them away even if they do get on your nerves. You'll miss them the second they are gone. I know I do.

Part of a Big family,

Maranda :))))))