Letting It Slip Away

Can you have something that was lost, shattered, and ripped away from your fingers ever so horribly? Something that you had for years of your life, the one thing that truly made you YOU and that got you through every day. Well that's what happened to me. I got the one thing that I could turn to when everything in my life went wrong. That thing was dance. I know it may seem dumb but I honestly don't care. Dance was the one thing that was mine, it never left when I was in a horrible mood, when my life seemed to be slipping, and it always knew how to make me happy no matter what seemed to be happening. Dance was like my best friend, soul mate, mother, dad, and everything else you could think of! This was the one thing that I never thought would be ripped from my hands, smashed right in front of my face, then the person who did it look at me straight in the eyes and told me "Don't even waste your time with that. You're not that good anyways. Get some help and maybe it'll get a little better if you're lucky."

This happened to me a couple of years ago and ever since then dance has never been the same. The passion that was there before hand was lost and never found. I didn't even see the point in dancing after I heard that. Every word that was said that day was imprinted in my head and worst of all my heart. No matter what was said to me all I could think of were those words. After that I did the worst thing... I gave up. I barely danced and when I did all I saw in the mirror was a horrible dancer that was wasting everyone's time even my own.

For a year I only danced when I had to (I teach dance at JFK) and I wasn't even having fun. I looked at the girls in front of me and just thought "Why am I teaching them? They should have someone better and that actually knows what they are doing!" I cried so many times during that year span. I avoided every thing I could that even reminded me of dance other than work.

After taking that year off I noticed how much I truly missed dance. Dance was such an outlet for me. You could tell how I was feeling because every guard was down and the movements poured out of me like tears. So I started looking for classes in town, outside of town, and any place just so I could start again. I wanted this back more than anything. I told myself that those things weren't true. That I could do it! So I started involving myself even more and more.

Then lately this thing, a strike of lightning you could say, hit me and I knew what I had to do. This person, who told me all of those things a few years ago, is who I have to dance in front of. I need to show her that I can dance. Most importantly I need to show myself that those things are not true and that they never were.

So I'm going to go in front of them and showing them every last thing I have in me. I'm going work my ass off every single day that I can and show how dedicated I am. Hopefully it will turn out the best way! I only have one thing that I hope you get out of this long story. It's that you should never give up even if someone takes that special thing from you. It's yours and not theirs. Just because they say something doesn't mean it's true or that you should think it. Keep doing what you love. You'll regret for letting it go right out of your fingers.

Never giving it back up,

Maranda Keirsten